Decided to start keeping a positivity diary! I feel I focus too much on the negative, plus now I’m on my own again in terms of help.. I need to start pulling myself through so…
This week I fought off my anxiety, attended my university interview and got offered a place the very same day. Victory 1.
I went to shops and managed to stay all the way until the end.. queueing, paying and everything.. usually I freak out half way round the shop and have to sit in the car. This time I managed the full lot, my PTSD started flaring up in the queue but I managed to power through. Victory 2.
I managed to be intimate without so much as a sniff of a freak out. Victory 3.
I summoned up all of my strength and told the MH team they weren’t helping and got myself discharged.. my PTSD has started flaring up but for the first time ever I’m managing to stay in control. I think my new meds have a part to play.. honestly it’s like a miracle in a blister pack! But also my strength is starting to shine through Victory 4.
For the last victory… my last relationship was very toxic and I hadn’t realised until I started my new one just how much I had being affected.. until it came to certain things like putting furniture together or cooking together, I used to go to pieces in the earlier days, as I was far too intimidated by the processes. Today we made Easter Egg Cheesecakes 🥰 no crying, shaking or flashbacks. Victory 5.
I’m now in bed feeling very sick from said cheesecakes but you know what? I’m bloody proud of myself. ❤️