A letter to Poppy.

Today’s letter is supposed to be to someone close, I decided to write to my mums dog. She literally has been my best mate the past few years.

Infact I got so close to her I remember a counsellor asking me how I dealt with my drinking issues… I told her I went for walks with my best mate, she then asked me if my best mate stayed away from alcohol. I can actually remember thinking she was the crazy one as I replied well erm the dog doesn’t drink. 😂😀

So my letter to pops..

I wish I could tell you how much I absolutely adore you! In my absolute darkest moments you were always there. Always happy to see me no matter what. Never judged me, never turned your back and just made my heart soar with joy everytime I saw your gorgeous little face.

I hope you know you saved me so many times. I kept trying to pluck up the courage to jump off the Humber Bridge so I would try to walk there most days, and sometimes it was in a state of disassociation so I started taking you along with me because I knew there’s absolutely no way in hell I would leave you alone like that.

I would sit at home trying to fight the urge to hurt myself. I didn’t do it so many times because I had promised to take you out before I went to bed. I would pour my heart out to you and cry all over your head, you just sat there and took it. ❤️

I know some people think you are just a dog.. but to me you are my best mate, you gave me a purpose and you never told anyone my secrets. Just wish you knew how much I love you❤️

Published by DelilahSpuddy

Well when I first started this blog, I was just using it as an anonymous way to vent. I suffered a horrific year in 2018 starting with witnessing abuse in my work place and ending in an awful assault on me by a so called friend. Now as I start to recover I’m hoping to reach those who unfortunately may find themselves in my situation with nobody to turn to. I managed my PTSD symptoms a good 8 months before I was told I wasn’t going mad and actually there was a name for it. In those 8 months I came up with all sorts of weird and wonderful ways to ground and help myself. Some of the writing in my blog isn’t nice and contains some triggers so please be aware. It’s just what I need to do at the moment. But if you want to... feel free to have a look ❤️ welcome to the madhouse 😂

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