A session full of firsts.

Last nights EMDR was full of firsts for me!

The first time I wasn’t sick before/during the session. (I was afterwards but I suspect that was from eating too much).

The first time I managed to verbalise stuff, usually I shake my head when he asks if I can tell him stuff, last night I just came out with it.

My first fully processed memory! This one is a BIG DEAL!! My body no longer reacts to the scariest image in my mind. 😃 At the start f my EMDR this image was an 8/9 on a scale of distress, last night it was a 3 😊

I managed to identify in the session the very first time I ever felt anxiety, helplessness and where the feelings of being a bad person come from.

I also managed to sleep afterwards and have normal dreams! I only had around 2 hours before waking up but not because of nightmares but just because my brain is busy. I managed to sleep with the duvet on, usually I have to have a really light one or just a thin blanket which can be a pain this time of the year. 😃😃😃

Published by DelilahSpuddy

Well when I first started this blog, I was just using it as an anonymous way to vent. I suffered a horrific year in 2018 starting with witnessing abuse in my work place and ending in an awful assault on me by a so called friend. Now as I start to recover I’m hoping to reach those who unfortunately may find themselves in my situation with nobody to turn to. I managed my PTSD symptoms a good 8 months before I was told I wasn’t going mad and actually there was a name for it. In those 8 months I came up with all sorts of weird and wonderful ways to ground and help myself. Some of the writing in my blog isn’t nice and contains some triggers so please be aware. It’s just what I need to do at the moment. But if you want to... feel free to have a look ❤️ welcome to the madhouse 😂

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