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Positives of the past month!

Today I managed to finish a book!! This is a big big deal! I have always adored reading, I love feeling like a teeny tiny speck in the midst of huge towering words and great big soft pages all floating around me, swallowing me up and making me literally live the book.. I like feeling like I have literally climbed into a good book, almost 2 and a half years since I’ve managed to read a full book so I am absolutely delighted!

During my EMDR I’m unwrapping more and more childhood trauma which in turn is making me understand why I am the way I am and why certain words have so much impact on me. It’s hard going but I am so much better for it.

My flashbacks have reduced so much I’m almost forgetting to safeguard myself! I can go to the loo without my thighs crawling, I can be naked for unlimited amounts of time and I am spending longer and longer in the bath 😀

I have had my girlfriend to myself for almost 3 weeks! Bliss!! I keep threatening to kidnap her when she goes back to work tomorrow 😂 don’t know what I’m going to do with myself.

Finally, I have dropped my quetiapine down to 150mg from 200 because I just wasn’t feeling anything at all.. as a result I am feeling more and more like me everyday, just this morning I had to catch my tongue before my unfiltered mind came spilling out… such a long long time since I had that sort of fire. I have a little more anxiety than usual but it’s manageable at the minute.

I’ve had my first Covid vaccine as have the residents where I work.. I’m so pleased for them, to think maybe someday soon they will be able to see their families, or go for a walk on the beach, it’s heartbreaking to see the ones with dementia that don’t understand and I can’t wait to see them getting that first hug from a loved one 😍

After having covid myself just over 8 weeks ago… my oxygen levels are slowly returning to normal and I’m not relying on my inhaler anymore.

Here in the U.K. we have entered yet another national lockdown, the idiotic moron in charge of the country has no clue! 80,000 people dead, we are up to over 1000 a day dead from Covid and still people don’t believe it or just go out on jollies to other cities!

How is the Covid situation in your area? More importantly how’s the weather? I live in the North of England ( us Brits love to talk weather!) and all around me there has been heavy snowfall… not one flake in my town! Typical.


Published by DelilahSpuddy

Well when I first started this blog, I was just using it as an anonymous way to vent. I suffered a horrific year in 2018 starting with witnessing abuse in my work place and ending in an awful assault on me by a so called friend. Now as I start to recover I’m hoping to reach those who unfortunately may find themselves in my situation with nobody to turn to. I managed my PTSD symptoms a good 8 months before I was told I wasn’t going mad and actually there was a name for it. In those 8 months I came up with all sorts of weird and wonderful ways to ground and help myself. Some of the writing in my blog isn’t nice and contains some triggers so please be aware. It’s just what I need to do at the moment. But if you want to... feel free to have a look ❤️ welcome to the madhouse 😂

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  1. I love this positives list! Congrats on getting through the book! EMDR sounds like a pretty amazing therapy, even though you’ve got to put in the work.

    Boris sounds like a complete ass. At least in my corner of Canada, the people in charge are at least reasonably on the ball.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you… it’s certainly a lot more positive than I have felt in forever!

      The EMDR is amazing. I’m not having trouble processing images it’s just certain words, I was getting frustrated but then I managed to recall a very early traumatic memory and it’s just like wow.. 🤯 I’m
      So pleased I gave it another go.

      Boris is such a dickhead… I can’t even begin. ☹️

      Liked by 1 person

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