Just a little reminder to myself… (TW self harm)

Despite being on the verge of another police investigation and despite the fact i feel my PTSD is getting bad again.. this little reminder popped up on my phone today and it absolutely stunned me! Almost 8 months since I intentionally hurt myself! This is huge!! Last time I was going through this sort of …

Positives of the past month!

Today I managed to finish a book!! This is a big big deal! I have always adored reading, I love feeling like a teeny tiny speck in the midst of huge towering words and great big soft pages all floating around me, swallowing me up and making me literally live the book.. I like feeling …

Depression is…

Having a heavy feeling inside your head, like a seriously muggy day devoid of fresh air or any sort of breeze. Being so desperately sad but unable to utter a single syllable or cry. Having that heavy muggy feeling spread through your body, into your forehead making it throb, into your ears making them ring …

Crazy cat lady!

I caught myself this morning in the middle of a proper laughing fit, I couldn’t stop laughing and everytime I almost calmed down, all I had to do was look at my cat and I went off into fits of giggles again…the reason for that laughter? A made up scenario in my head which I …

Picking fights.

Awake at this ungodly hour unpacking my brain and sorting through the rubble. After some soul searching with my girlfriend and a conversation with my therapist I am trying in the kindest, gentlest way I can muster to give my self a stern talking to. The past few days have been turbulent to say the …

Lessons learnt.

Well that’s it! Finished my course and actually achieved something this time! I don’t think I’ve ever academically achieved anything in my life! Usually by this stage I’ve not got the grades or I’ve given up half way through, I was far too busy playing the class clown at school . Usually I have some …

This weeks proud moments.

1. I went back to work and managed 3 shifts! I had a hard time on one shift but I was able to medicate and ground myself. I managed the rest of the shift largely ok. 2. We moved!! The house is amazing. So quiet, beautiful and peaceful. Almost managed two whole days without flashbacks. …

This weeks proud moments.

1. I have a job!! Amazing enough in the current climate but even better that I smashed the interview and that I have my passion back. I was a support worker for years, I haven’t managed to consistently work as one for the past two years. I’m yet to start work at my new place …

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