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Picking fights.

Awake at this ungodly hour unpacking my brain and sorting through the rubble. After some soul searching with my girlfriend and a conversation with my therapist I am trying in the kindest, gentlest way I can muster to give my self a stern talking to. The past few days have been turbulent to say the …

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Dealing with accessories.

I have started to feel better recently, my flashbacks are down to one or two every 2 or 3 days, my nightmares are ever present but the past few nights they have been sort of gentle on me, I am generally able to wake up, calm down and go right back off to sleep instead …

Letter to an old friend. (Trigger warning)

https://bloggingexposure.wordpress.com/2020/03/22/lets-write-letters/ Mar 22 (Sunday)– to your younger self (you can go back to any time you like)Mar 23 (Monday)- to your older self (you to jump to any time you wish to)Mar 24 (Tuesday)- to your present selfMarch 25 (Wednesday)- to LifeMar 26 (Thursday)- to TimeMar 27 (Friday)- to your Dream/DestinationMar 28 (Saturday)- to someone …

A letter to life…

Bit late and mostly ranty but 🤷‍♀️ https://bloggingexposure.wordpress.com/2020/03/22/lets-write-letters/ Right life, you absolute son of a nutcracker! what is this?! Seriously?! Give a girl a break!! I would like to know exactly what the hell the past two years have been about,and why you thought it was appropriate to deal me that hand?? not even just …

Things to be proud of!

First off these bad boys!!! haven’t had the desire or confidence to attempt Yorkshire puddings for ages!! My grandma would be proud!! ❤️ Secondly I’m realising and accepting how far I have actually started to come. Thirdly.. I have a real desire to go back to work. I want to help people again especially now! …

Victories of the past week!

Decided to start keeping a positivity diary! I feel I focus too much on the negative, plus now I’m on my own again in terms of help.. I need to start pulling myself through so… This week I fought off my anxiety, attended my university interview and got offered a place the very same day. …

Invisible illness.

Seriously frustrated today. Because I function so well and for the most part I cope with my symptoms on my own, people seem to think I’m not ill. I had a mental health nurse this afternoon say to me “you are coping with a nursing course, and you haven’t hurt yourself for a few weeks …

Adrift but not drowning.

So I find myself in a familiar place. A lonely place, but it’s not as scary here as it was last time, last time I may as well of been on a sinking inflatable raft in the Humber estuary, I couldn’t see anywhere but down. I had absolutely no support to hold on to, I …

Personal Justice.

Last night I went through my phone and deleted all of the phone numbers/text messages connected to my case. I had a little cry, mainly out of frustration and a little because I had to let to go of my ISVA who became my rock these past 13 months. Mainly though because I was so …

The tree 🌲 (August 2019)

So today… I indulged in a favourite childhood hobby of mine.. I climbed a tree! A bloody big one at that.. I don’t know where the urge came from I was moping through the cemetery envying the dead.. I needed to escape and I came across the most beautiful tree I just needed to be, …