Rusty key.

During my last two EMDR sessions the strangest things have started popping up! Like making up dance routines with my little brother when we were very young or me chewing all the feet of my barbies in a bid to reject the girlie girl persona my stepmother insistently tried to drive into me. I couldn’t …

A session full of firsts.

Last nights EMDR was full of firsts for me! The first time I wasn’t sick before/during the session. (I was afterwards but I suspect that was from eating too much). The first time I managed to verbalise stuff, usually I shake my head when he asks if I can tell him stuff, last night I …

Calm in the chaos

I recently started having EMDR, I had a previous awful experience so I was very anxious and skeptical but I had to give it one last shot because i knew that if it was done properly it could be extremely beneficial. I have become so tired of violent nightmares every single night, not managing to …

Crazy cat lady!

I caught myself this morning in the middle of a proper laughing fit, I couldn’t stop laughing and everytime I almost calmed down, all I had to do was look at my cat and I went off into fits of giggles again…the reason for that laughter? A made up scenario in my head which I …

A letter to 50 year old me

Well hi there! As I write to you the prime minister has just put the country on lockdown because of a virus! A virus that you have… you aren’t very well but you aren’t too bad. Do you remember? I bet you never take a walk in the fresh air for granted again once this …

Victories of the past week!

Decided to start keeping a positivity diary! I feel I focus too much on the negative, plus now I’m on my own again in terms of help.. I need to start pulling myself through so… This week I fought off my anxiety, attended my university interview and got offered a place the very same day. …

Invisible illness.

Seriously frustrated today. Because I function so well and for the most part I cope with my symptoms on my own, people seem to think I’m not ill. I had a mental health nurse this afternoon say to me “you are coping with a nursing course, and you haven’t hurt yourself for a few weeks …

Simple concept.

Yesterday my therapist said the simplest of sentences to me and for the first time I actually heard her! It completely stunned me. Such a simple concept and I’m not sure why I heard her so clearly yesterday? Usually I just sit there and I either just say ok or I argue with her. Yesterday …

Sulky Hippocampus

Yesterday was such a good day! I didn’t have one single flashback, I can’t remember the last time that happened. I had few auras but none of them actually took over.. 🥰 I cannot describe how amazing that felt! Also yesterday I started off the day 5 assignments behind at college, I put my head …

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