I haven’t managed to write anything in such a long time! I’ve been too busy getting better and I’m happy to say I think my PTSD has crawled off into remission 😃😃 My EMDR has worked absolute miracles! When I first started it I would spend the whole day anxious as hell about it, I …
Tag Archives: healing
Just a little reminder to myself… (TW self harm)
Despite being on the verge of another police investigation and despite the fact i feel my PTSD is getting bad again.. this little reminder popped up on my phone today and it absolutely stunned me! Almost 8 months since I intentionally hurt myself! This is huge!! Last time I was going through this sort of …
Continue reading “Just a little reminder to myself… (TW self harm)”
Positives of the past month!
Today I managed to finish a book!! This is a big big deal! I have always adored reading, I love feeling like a teeny tiny speck in the midst of huge towering words and great big soft pages all floating around me, swallowing me up and making me literally live the book.. I like feeling …
Rusty key.
During my last two EMDR sessions the strangest things have started popping up! Like making up dance routines with my little brother when we were very young or me chewing all the feet of my barbies in a bid to reject the girlie girl persona my stepmother insistently tried to drive into me. I couldn’t …
A session full of firsts.
Last nights EMDR was full of firsts for me! The first time I wasn’t sick before/during the session. (I was afterwards but I suspect that was from eating too much). The first time I managed to verbalise stuff, usually I shake my head when he asks if I can tell him stuff, last night I …
Crazy cat lady!
I caught myself this morning in the middle of a proper laughing fit, I couldn’t stop laughing and everytime I almost calmed down, all I had to do was look at my cat and I went off into fits of giggles again…the reason for that laughter? A made up scenario in my head which I …
Sitting with pain.
This week I decided to try my absolute hardest to sit with some of the most painful parts of my trauma. I think it has to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I have become extremely adept at pushing it away the past year or so, but distracting myself isn’t …
There I am!
This morning I freaked out over a spider.. like proper freaked, I screamed like a girl, threw something at it and ran away as fast as I could. This is the first time since my trauma! The first time I have had a normal fear response to something unrelated! I stopped being afraid of anything …
Lessons learnt.
Well that’s it! Finished my course and actually achieved something this time! I don’t think I’ve ever academically achieved anything in my life! Usually by this stage I’ve not got the grades or I’ve given up half way through, I was far too busy playing the class clown at school . Usually I have some …
Healing Tears.
Last night I was trying to keep my head busy before sleep, I’d had an emotional day and I didn’t want a night full of nightmares… I was chatting casually to my girlfriend about previous relationships and soulmates etc etc, as we were chatting I started to become aware that I was getting a little …
Delilah Blossom 