The past few days I have found myself toying with the idea of giving EMDR another go. My therapist mentioned it, to help me get the bottom of why I keep skipping time. Straight away I said no, however after a chat with my girlfriend about it... I am mulling it over. I had an …
Sitting with pain.
This week I decided to try my absolute hardest to sit with some of the most painful parts of my trauma. I think it has to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I have become extremely adept at pushing it away the past year or so, but distracting myself isn’t …
There I am!
This morning I freaked out over a spider.. like proper freaked, I screamed like a girl, threw something at it and ran away as fast as I could. This is the first time since my trauma! The first time I have had a normal fear response to something unrelated! I stopped being afraid of anything …
Picking fights.
Awake at this ungodly hour unpacking my brain and sorting through the rubble. After some soul searching with my girlfriend and a conversation with my therapist I am trying in the kindest, gentlest way I can muster to give my self a stern talking to. The past few days have been turbulent to say the …
Lessons learnt.
Well that’s it! Finished my course and actually achieved something this time! I don’t think I’ve ever academically achieved anything in my life! Usually by this stage I’ve not got the grades or I’ve given up half way through, I was far too busy playing the class clown at school . Usually I have some …
Healing Tears.
Last night I was trying to keep my head busy before sleep, I’d had an emotional day and I didn’t want a night full of nightmares... I was chatting casually to my girlfriend about previous relationships and soulmates etc etc, as we were chatting I started to become aware that I was getting a little …
Afterlife.
I finished watching the second series of Afterlife last night, it’s been a while since I’ve been able to watch anything all the way through! What a brilliantly written show it is! Now I can’t generally stand Ricky Gervais but I have to take my hat off to him. It is so refreshing for someone …
Dealing with accessories.
I have started to feel better recently, my flashbacks are down to one or two every 2 or 3 days, my nightmares are ever present but the past few nights they have been sort of gentle on me, I am generally able to wake up, calm down and go right back off to sleep instead …
This weeks proud moments.
1. I went back to work and managed 3 shifts! I had a hard time on one shift but I was able to medicate and ground myself. I managed the rest of the shift largely ok. 2. We moved!! The house is amazing. So quiet, beautiful and peaceful. Almost managed two whole days without flashbacks. …
Rollercoaster 🎢
This week has been what has become a typical week in my life in recent times, which basically means it’s a huge messy rollercoaster with so many steep ups and downs it’s untrue. At the moment I’m riding a high, instead of enjoying the high.. my brain is looking for the next low. It’s not …
Delilah Blossom 